Drugs or Me

Trying to write
Feels like taking a brick
And throwing it into my chest.
It's making me hurt
But I need to write.
So here I go:

My eyes feel like crying
But I can't
No
I won't
Because I left you.
You didn't leave me.
I said goodbye, get out of my life.
So why am I here?
Stuck to this seat
My heart hurting
Because I've you turned to stone?
An apathetic drone?
Soothed by DXM and Xanax and other X meds?

It's not my fault
I know
I don't think it's yours
So who's is it?
Pop culture?
Americana?
Who knows.

All I have to say is
Sorry
For hurting you and continuing
To stir up whatever emotion is left inside of you.

There.
There's my apology.
My first time writing in months.
And it's all for you.